Tired of Tragic

By Kayla Sue Warner

🔹 Intro:

There’s so much violence—out there and inside of me. Sometimes it feels like I’ve been living in a war zone, both in the world and in my own head. This is a poem about that kind of pain, but it’s also about choosing not to stay in it forever. About cracking the concrete. About saying no.


Tired of Tragic

Tired of tragic—
inside and outside of me.

Always some kind of war.

Bombs detonating
in my skull.

Shrapnel slicing through my thoughts.
Smoke flooding my lungs.
Sirens howling—
but no one comes.

I pick the metal out of my own head.
I stitch the bleeding with shaking hands.

It never stops.

There are landmines buried
inside of me.

There are landmines buried
in the streets out there.

Bombs blowing out other people’s brains
over there—
in the places we’ve agreed
not to look.

Will it ever end?
No.

This world was built
to devour itself.

But that does not mean
I have to kneel to it.

I refuse
to wear tragedy like a uniform.
I refuse
to swallow it like a daily pill.
I refuse
to keep folding myself into it—
like I was born
to explode.

There is still color
in this gray, burning battlefield.

There is still softness
when the bombs go quiet.

And I do not have to bleed
to prove I’m alive.

I am tired
of being tragic.

I am done.

I choose something else.

Like a flower
cracking the concrete on purpose—
its roots breaking the sidewalk
wide open.

Like a breath
that refuses
to stay small.

Like a soft rebellion—
a quiet but certain
No.

I am tired
of being tragic.

And I will not
be tragic
anymore.

Peace Is (According to My Spidey Senses)

Peace is seeing the neighbor outside
and not having to engage.

Peace is a 47-minute phone call
with the President of the Escambia County
Democratic Women’s Club.

Peace is another phone call—
with your aunt who isn’t blood
but feels more like family—
telling you how much that plant clipping grew,
sending a photo of it now,
lush and thriving on her windowsill.

Peace is your boyfriend’s dead dad’s dog
lounging with you on the river deck
at twilight,
after the sun settled,
and set for the day.

Peace is not a pontoon.
I’ll take the water ripples—
the sight and sound of them—
any day.

Peace is the first firefly
you saw on the
summer solstice.

The World and Me are Peace—
at least according to my Spidey Senses. 😉

A smiling person wearing a plaid shirt stands outdoors next to a gravel path and green grass, with a shed in the background.
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The Holy Spirit Wore White Pants


A sacred little snapshot of sunshine, cats, and casual prayer


The Holy Spirit Wore White Pants

a poem about joy, memory, and the holiness of everyday moments


Singing Sun

Singing sun skipping—
seriously, happily—while I sing
along with birds who chirp my song.
Not a single cloud in the sky.

Wearing white,
multi-pocketed pants,
striking random yoga poses
when it feels good to—
hopefully, no grass stains!

Kids laugh, play, live, love.
Cats chase bugs and pee outside.
My number one sidekick,
black kitty-cat Frodo,
has never smiled so wide.

Baby Sprinter lies
beside me
on this pink and gold sparkly blanket.
He helps me read and write
every wild thing I wonder.

The Pacers play soon.
It’s Friday.
66°, 7:38 PM—
so savory, so soft…
mind, hold this memory
forever and ever—
Amen.

In the name of the mother’s (day),
daughters,
and the holy spirit—
amen, amen, amen.

A woman smiles at the camera with a black cat beside her, sitting on a blanket in a grassy area during sunny weather.
A black cat walking on green grass in a backyard, with a blurred laptop in the foreground and a white fence in the background.

💬 Closing Note:

Some days don’t ask to be remembered—they demand it. This was one of those. Thanks for reading.

“A Prayer I Shouldn’t Have to Say”

📌 Note to Readers (beginning):

This post contains raw, vulnerable content about suicidal thoughts, self-harm, and deep emotional pain. It’s not meant to shock—it’s meant to tell the truth. If you are struggling, please know you are not alone. This is my way of surviving. If you choose to keep reading, thank you for holding this with care. If you’re someone who loves me, thank you for still being here.


📝 The Poem:

A Prayer I Shouldn’t Have to Say
(for the girl who keeps waking up anyway)

Sometimes,
I wish I could die.
And I’m so fucking scared
because the wish keeps growing—
quietly, like mold in a room I forgot to check.
It doesn’t scream.
It waits.

I used to keep an ESPN article bookmarked—
about a runner at Penn State
who jumped off a parking garage.
I reread it like scripture.
Not because I wanted to be her,
but because I already was.
Just slower to the edge.

In college,
I started researching methods.
Not for shock value.
For comfort.
Like maybe if I knew enough
it would be easier
when the time came.
Like maybe knowing gave me power
over something.

While teaching,
I locked myself in my bathroom at home
more times than I’ll admit.
Laid on the cold tile of classrooms
after everyone left,
wishing I wouldn’t get up.

Still now,
I find rooms with doors I can close—
not to shut people out,
but to lie down and hope
I’ll just
stop.

Because facing it
feels like drowning in daylight.
Because trying
feels like dragging my bones
through broken glass
just to smile at a meeting.

And I still pray—
To God,
To Goddess,
To whatever might cradle the wreck of me—

Please,
take me instead.
Let my death do something useful.
Spare someone better.

I know it would destroy my parents.
They’ve already lost a child.
They’d give anything to keep me.
And that’s the catch—
I want to leave,
but I don’t want to hurt them.
So I stay.
Like a ghost with obligations.

If you’re listening,
God, Goddess, anyone—
make this life holy again.
Make breath feel like more than survival.
Make staying feel
like something other than surrender.

Please,
make it matter
that I stayed.


And maybe—
maybe there’s something waiting
just past the next morning.
A hand I haven’t held yet.
A moment that doesn’t ache.
A softness I’ll recognize
as my own.

Maybe
the staying
isn’t the end
of the story.

Maybe it’s the start
of the healing.


📌 Note to Readers (end):

If this resonated with you because you’ve felt these same things—please, please stay. The world is heavy, but it’s not hopeless. You are not alone, and you are not beyond saving. I’m still here. You can be too.

If you or someone you love is struggling, please reach out:

  • Call or text 988 (U.S. Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
  • Text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line, U.S.)
  • Or find support near you at befrienders.org